OK, so Anthony thought it was so funny the other day when I said this, and he wanted me to post it. I think we were sitting at baseball or something, and he just thinks it's hilarious when I talk to inanimate objects (like farts). I talk to either someone in another car who cannot hear me or an inanimate object- or both- every day. No joke. Every day. "Well, Hello rogue, detached hair that's been tickling my arm for the past 10 minutes." "Hello, Precious... for letting me know you were turning by NOT putting on your blinker." "That is NOT nice Mr. Stone for stubbing my toe!" The list goes on and on... and on and on.... He has no idea how therapeutic it is for me to talk to these things/people. It helps diffuse anger, frustration, or just help me remember and accept in some, small way that I'm not in control.
SO, I cracked him up with the "Hello, Butt Smell." It's a nice day when you can make your 13 year old son laugh. Many times, he's laughing at me in another kind of way. This time, he was laughing at me in a good way.
We will have exactly 2 weeks left of school, and then our summer vacation will be exactly 8 weeks long. (moment of silence, please) I am SO already done with school, and I'm not even in it! Starks came home with a homework packet this Monday, and my face was utter disgust. A mother in baseball who used to be a teacher admitted that she was a strong proponent for homework as a teacher, but as a stay at home mother, she realizes how unnecessary it mostly is. I agree. I understand needing to focus them for another TWO weeks, but homework is not the way to keep them interested in school. There is nothing life shattering to teach the last two weeks of school. I'm just ready for summer. I'm ready for them to be playing outside in the dark until their skin is clammy. I'm ready for no more shutting down fun to read 20" before bed! I'm want no more schedule if only for eight weeks! Who's with me?!?!
Until then, these two weeks left of school will be fun and packed. My niece arrived today (Don't worry, she's watching a movie 20 ft from me on the couch with the boys... I'm not ignoring her.) to stay for just a few days before she heads to Hawaii with her grandpa. :D Starks has a semi-final baseball game tomorrow night for playoffs. (He keeps reminding us there's a new "Jessie" on Friday, too. LOL) He turns NINE on Saturday! There may be a final Championship game for #1 on Saturday if his team wins tomorrow. Father's Day is Sunday. These next several days are going to ROCK!
Did you read that Alyssa is here?!? I love this girl. I love who she is, that she's trying to figure out who she wants to be, how she got her mom's gift of love, how beautiful she is inside and out, and that she wanted to spend time with me before her big trip! WHAT?!?! Alyssa fits in like she has lived with us all of her life. I love it; it makes my heart sing. However, I cannot wait to have her all to myself tomorrow while the boys are at school. :)
Well, I'm going to say "Goodbye, Computer. Thank you for working for me today!" Now I've get to sit on the couch with my family and snuggle up to watch "Ironman 2." It was my suggestion... I needed some Tony Stark. :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
It's hard to describe...
The Friday of Memorial Day weekend, I flew to Oklahoma to see my niece, Alyssa, Sharmane's youngest daughter, graduate from high school. Alyssa is the baby of two girls and the last one in the house. Whew. I remember flying out to Hawaii to stay with them when Alyssa was just two weeks old, and suddenly, there I was standing at her best friend's house for her graduation party! WHAT? If I felt like it went way too fast, I can only imagine what my sister was feeling.
My sister went through it all like a pro. I don't think she'd mind me telling you that she used to kind of go from standing in a field to being on the edge of a cliff in less than a minute. It's like she could see that something could be coming, and once she'd caught a glimpse, she'd suddenly be teetering on the edge instead of walking across the huge field, then the street, then 100 yards to the cliff, then slink up to the edge. She is SO much better now at taking a step back to look at a problem or change in plans before even beginning that long trek. So, at Alyssa's graduation, she was fantastic! Shar made sure her daughter knew the day was all about her. She shouted, as she should have, with me when they called Alyssa's name. She made sure Alyssa went to her favorite restaurant for dinner/dessert. She even took a deep breath and let Alyssa go to a friend's house late that night. I could see how hard it was to live this day of mixed blessings, but I could also tell she was standing in the field. And, I was so blessed to be there holding her hand.
I was the baby in our family, and I've always appreciated learning from my sister. She taught me how to climb trees, build forts, play, swim, explore, and most importantly that she always was looking out for me. She was a fabulous teacher, too. The summer before Kindergarten, she used the workbooks that she'd brought home at the end of school and taught me how to read, write, add, subtract, and multiply. I could not figure out division before school, but not because she didn't try. However, as much as she taught, I learned more by observing her in action, and I've never stopped. I've been taking notes all of my life and all along as her girls have grown up. Alyssa's graduation was another learning opportunity for me as I will be going through the same kind of day in just 4 years.
I am appreciative of my nieces, Kare and Alyssa, and their love. Whether we were shopping, eating, or simply hanging out at Kare's apartment, it was all beautiful. It really didn't matter WHAT we did, we loved the time together. We spent the next three days just soaking it all in. Time is precious, but it can be difficult to give. I was so fortunate to have seen Sharmane four times last year! She came out here for the P!nk concert, and we drove to San Diego to crash their vacation time. She came out here to surprise me for my 40th, and then she came out AGAIN to spend time alone with me for her birthday. What I realized 2 weeks ago is 9 months is too long for us to be apart. It doesn't feel good.
I've said before that I feel like my best self with my sister. She loves me so unconditionally. She loves me like a mother, best friend, and sister. She loves me despite my faults and mistakes. She just loves, and she does it so well. (Did you know she took a month off from her own family in JAPAN to spend it with me when Anthony was born?) We've made time for each other all of our adult lives, sometimes more frequently than others, but we've made sure to get it! And, I don't just enjoy being with her, I need it. It refuels and refreshes me in a unique, necessary way. Plus, I get to be 5, 16, 27, and 40 all at once!
My sister is so much fun. Sharmane's crazy, silly, and more creative than me. She has made me stretch myself to let go. She has helped me be a better mother and get over myself. And, I still look up to her. So, when I hear people say, "You two have the same smile!" I smile even bigger. I think "I KNOW! Yes we DO! Isn't it awesome?!" (sigh) I'm proud of her, who she's become, what she stands for, and what she does to help others. It's been marvelous watching her unfold and unashamedly show her true self to the world as she's grown up. What a great model for her girls to love themselves just as wholly!
Monday, June 2, 2014
"Let's go see Ed!"
We ask God in prayers each night to guide us through the following day. We've prayed for the events we're anticipating to come, but we also want to be ready to give up that schedule if He's got a better one planned for us. ;) Friday, that was put into action.
I had given Chas an ultimatum about a homework issue. If something wasn't done, he wasn't allowed to go to "Casual Friday" (when a group of friends meets at the park, walks to Safeway to load up on junk, and hangs out together until they all come to our house). The homework problem wasn't solved, so I instead dropped off one of his friends at home instead of the park. :( Again, it's not fun to follow through on consequences sometimes, but it's got to be done. I, too, missed out on the fun of hearing boys playing outside and laughing.
As we pulled into the driveway, Chas wasn't ready to succumb to being home, so he asked if there were any errands I needed to run. This question from him always cracks me up! I started pulling right back out of the driveway and replied, "YES!" It was then I set my GPS to Ed's house.
He lives in a modest home in a nice neighborhood, and his front door was open when we walked up to his house. Instead of peering through the screen, we hung back on the porch and rang the doorbell. D answered the door, smiled SO sweetly and let us in announcing, "You're going to make his day!" There was a woman in the kitchen sitting down with someone else and a man a little younger than I walking around. It was strange that only D spoke to us and acknowledged our presence, but we were there for Ed anyway.
Ed was sitting in a chair in front of a GIANT TV standing on the floor (We learned his grandson, Vince- the man about my age, had just brought it over, but the stand hadn't yet arrived.) eating a jelly filled sweet and drinking coffee. Ahhh... to be 90 and have a sugary snack at 4pm to get you through the lull. :) D introduced me, "Your friend from the park is here to see you." I think it threw him a bit having Anthony and Chas with me, and he couldn't place me right away. I don't blame him; it had been 11 days. D shared that he'd met several people lately while walking in the park. I pulled the stool from the piano, moved it right next to him and sat down.
I think it was maybe 7 minutes of talking and searching in his mind. I was the girl from Ohio... working out at the park... the Navy nurse. Oh.My.Goodness. When he had put all of the pieces together, his eyes started leaking. His whole face changed, and he said, "I have happy tears!" Ed was SO happy that his entire face smiled back at us.
D sat with us as he talked. After about 10-15 minutes, maybe thinking the boys were bored, she asked if they wanted to pick some fruit. So, they went outside into the back yard to pick lemons, limes, grapefruits and oranges. However, Vince went with them and picked the fruit while they held the bag open. LOL. He had somehow forgotten that the fun of picking fruit is PICKING fruit! Or, maybe he did remember and couldn't resist for himself. Then, Ed sent me out, too, to see the morning doves who'd made a nest above a floodlight and had baby chicks now. We all oohed and ahed. Then back inside, everyone else joined us, too, in the living room.
I learned the older woman was his daughter. She looked more like his older wife. :( Smoker's skin, purple feet, not in the best of health. However, she was nice and shared pictures of her daughter, Vince's sister, Natalie. Ed's face lights up when talks about Natalie. She graduated from Cal Poly in Pomona, plays piano, trains service dogs, is BEAUTIFUL, comes home as often as she can to visit (She'd just visited and left on Tuesday.), and is currently at a University in Vegas for PA school. I saw her zip-lining above trees in Mexico by her feet, traveling on a plane with a German Shepherd service dog, and graduating from college. I could see that she was full of light. No wonder Ed loved her so! Meanwhile, as Karen continued to try and find pictures on her iPad, Ed just talked and talked. He didn't stop talking and sharing. He had Vince get us a picture of Betty, and we passed it around. Indeed, she was beautiful. Ed's eyes would well up every now and then as he talked and looked back and forth between the boys and me, and he would dab them with his napkin. We stayed for about an hour, and then I moved the conversation toward an end. He walked us to the door and gave me another hug saying, "Don't take so long to come back next time." LOL.
As we walked to the FJ, Chas said, "It wasn't that bad at all. In fact, I kind of liked listening to him talk." Anthony agreed that it wasn't that bad, but he didn't say he'd want to go back. I think I'll visit Ed alone and bring the boys every other time or so. They thought Ed was very nice and obviously picked up on how much it meant to him. It's kind of like how Starks feeds his fish, and Anthony and Chas alternate taking care of the dogs. They take care of the animals they love. It involves work or a small sacrifice of time, but they know it's valuable and rewarding in the end when the animal is healthy and happy. Our time Friday could have been spent doing 100 other things or more, but we invested in Ed. And, the blessing is that we got to see the reward immediately in his smile and happy tears.
I had given Chas an ultimatum about a homework issue. If something wasn't done, he wasn't allowed to go to "Casual Friday" (when a group of friends meets at the park, walks to Safeway to load up on junk, and hangs out together until they all come to our house). The homework problem wasn't solved, so I instead dropped off one of his friends at home instead of the park. :( Again, it's not fun to follow through on consequences sometimes, but it's got to be done. I, too, missed out on the fun of hearing boys playing outside and laughing.
As we pulled into the driveway, Chas wasn't ready to succumb to being home, so he asked if there were any errands I needed to run. This question from him always cracks me up! I started pulling right back out of the driveway and replied, "YES!" It was then I set my GPS to Ed's house.
He lives in a modest home in a nice neighborhood, and his front door was open when we walked up to his house. Instead of peering through the screen, we hung back on the porch and rang the doorbell. D answered the door, smiled SO sweetly and let us in announcing, "You're going to make his day!" There was a woman in the kitchen sitting down with someone else and a man a little younger than I walking around. It was strange that only D spoke to us and acknowledged our presence, but we were there for Ed anyway.
Ed was sitting in a chair in front of a GIANT TV standing on the floor (We learned his grandson, Vince- the man about my age, had just brought it over, but the stand hadn't yet arrived.) eating a jelly filled sweet and drinking coffee. Ahhh... to be 90 and have a sugary snack at 4pm to get you through the lull. :) D introduced me, "Your friend from the park is here to see you." I think it threw him a bit having Anthony and Chas with me, and he couldn't place me right away. I don't blame him; it had been 11 days. D shared that he'd met several people lately while walking in the park. I pulled the stool from the piano, moved it right next to him and sat down.
I think it was maybe 7 minutes of talking and searching in his mind. I was the girl from Ohio... working out at the park... the Navy nurse. Oh.My.Goodness. When he had put all of the pieces together, his eyes started leaking. His whole face changed, and he said, "I have happy tears!" Ed was SO happy that his entire face smiled back at us.
D sat with us as he talked. After about 10-15 minutes, maybe thinking the boys were bored, she asked if they wanted to pick some fruit. So, they went outside into the back yard to pick lemons, limes, grapefruits and oranges. However, Vince went with them and picked the fruit while they held the bag open. LOL. He had somehow forgotten that the fun of picking fruit is PICKING fruit! Or, maybe he did remember and couldn't resist for himself. Then, Ed sent me out, too, to see the morning doves who'd made a nest above a floodlight and had baby chicks now. We all oohed and ahed. Then back inside, everyone else joined us, too, in the living room.
I learned the older woman was his daughter. She looked more like his older wife. :( Smoker's skin, purple feet, not in the best of health. However, she was nice and shared pictures of her daughter, Vince's sister, Natalie. Ed's face lights up when talks about Natalie. She graduated from Cal Poly in Pomona, plays piano, trains service dogs, is BEAUTIFUL, comes home as often as she can to visit (She'd just visited and left on Tuesday.), and is currently at a University in Vegas for PA school. I saw her zip-lining above trees in Mexico by her feet, traveling on a plane with a German Shepherd service dog, and graduating from college. I could see that she was full of light. No wonder Ed loved her so! Meanwhile, as Karen continued to try and find pictures on her iPad, Ed just talked and talked. He didn't stop talking and sharing. He had Vince get us a picture of Betty, and we passed it around. Indeed, she was beautiful. Ed's eyes would well up every now and then as he talked and looked back and forth between the boys and me, and he would dab them with his napkin. We stayed for about an hour, and then I moved the conversation toward an end. He walked us to the door and gave me another hug saying, "Don't take so long to come back next time." LOL.
As we walked to the FJ, Chas said, "It wasn't that bad at all. In fact, I kind of liked listening to him talk." Anthony agreed that it wasn't that bad, but he didn't say he'd want to go back. I think I'll visit Ed alone and bring the boys every other time or so. They thought Ed was very nice and obviously picked up on how much it meant to him. It's kind of like how Starks feeds his fish, and Anthony and Chas alternate taking care of the dogs. They take care of the animals they love. It involves work or a small sacrifice of time, but they know it's valuable and rewarding in the end when the animal is healthy and happy. Our time Friday could have been spent doing 100 other things or more, but we invested in Ed. And, the blessing is that we got to see the reward immediately in his smile and happy tears.
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