The Gifting Year

My husband turned 45 last Tuesday, and I had no idea what to get him.  Most years I'm inspired and know right away a list of things, but this year had me stumped!  He's a man who thoroughly researches whatever he wants to buy, so if I get him anything technology related, I likely will not have researched and/or chosen the right thing.  I also do not like buying gifts for the sake of having a gift for someone.  I feel like it has to be thoughtful- if not to them, at least to me!  LOL.

SO, I booked an hour and a half massage with my masseuse who makes me laugh from pain!  She is truly gifted at finding what needs help on a body.  I thought I'd drive him down, have him get a massage, drive him home, and go eat at our favorite sushi place for lunch.  I was making his favorite dinner and had put together a dessert he sent a video of to me months earlier.  I honestly did not have another gift for him.  So on Sunday night when he told me that he HAD to be in the city to record for his podcast on his birthday at the exact time his massage was scheduled, I was screwed!  

The next two days (yes, on his birthday I was still searching) had me thinking and trying to come up with something, but I still had only a small gift on its way early April to save me.  As it stands, that no longer means anything and will likely be given to Starks.  Thankfully, he fell asleep on the couch before we got to cards, cakes, and no gift.  The next day when we finally and properly celebrated, he was disappointed to have nothing to open.  However, in my card, I explained that I would gift him 45 gifts over this next year to celebrate his turning 45.  Being Russ, he immediately read it and said aloud, "That's a gift every 8 days.  Good luck."  CRUSH!!  Jeez.  

It's going to go like this.  I can give him an experience, a gift, or do something for him.  The gifts are on MY terms.  No hinting or asking me to buy him something as one of his gifts.  They are from ME.  Yesterday, I gave him gift #1.  I bought him a Groove ring.  They are silicone rings you don't have to take off to lift/CrossFit.  Geek vibe strong, but they are awesome.  The QALO rings make his finger itchy, red, etc.  This Groove Ring brand has an air channel to allow the skin underneath to breathe.  I wore mine for over a week to make sure it stood up to its promise, and then I ordered him one.  :)

Gift #2 came today.  After he left for work, I had our electrician scheduled to come over and install three ceiling fans I bought last June!  I haven't been able to get anyone install them for me, and I can't do it myself as the ceiling is 13 feet high.  SO, after a few hours, they were up and looking fabulous!  I wasn't home when he had a quick turnaround from work to the baseball field, but Starks said, "Didbow told me to tell you that he LOVES them!"  :)  Score #2.

I have a few other gift ideas en route or on my upcoming schedule.  What I thought was a disappointment in not having a gift for him actually inspired me to have the BEST gift!  I am loving this idea.  I like that I'm thinking more and more about what I can do for him.  I like being even more focused on what he says and notices.  I like looking forward to giving to him!  I'm not sure it'll take me a year to get 45 gifts given, but we'll see.  I am having fun scheming and thinking, and I'll let you know how the rest go!

International Women's Day

Happy International Women's Day!

I've had so many wonderful women in my life.  From them, I have learned lessons on what to do and what not to do.  I've been inspired, encouraged, loved, supported, lifted up, and challenged.  Even the women who brought pain, anger, or conflict taught me something.  I won't grow if I'm not challenged, and never having women around me with different perspectives, lives, beliefs, ambitions or talents makes life boring and me a bit stagnant.

I've also reaped the benefits of women I've never known and who came many years ago.  Though I never met the great women before me who fought for me, stood up for my rights, and made me mean more than my gender, I feel connected to them.  I feel a ribbon of strength inside of me that reminds me that I matter.  It empowers me to right wrongs.  It makes me fraught with anger from the injustice and inequality toward women today still.  I want what they did to matter and be built upon- through me and all of us!

Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  I've given my share of middle fingers (or my equivalent, blowing kisses) to drivers.  I've flashed a disapproving "mom glare" to others.  I can be hungry for adult conversation and monopolize it.  I'm not always my best self, but I try.  I want to knit inside my fellow women the beginning of a ribbon that connects us.  I appreciate so much the women in my life, and I want you all to know.

I've also had men who have helped make me strong.  My daddy thought I should know how to use tools and do as much for myself as I could.  He built us things to climb on, vines to swing on, and encouraged us to explore and get dirty.  I have a husband who never defines my worth by what I do or can't do.  He sees me as his equal.  He doesn't try to mute who I am, but he just lets me be me.  He will point out that I may need to examine my motives, my stance, or why I'm so convicted just like I would want my girlfriends to do!  I need supportive men around me, too.  I had the best compliment from my oldest son over a year ago.  When I asked if a pair of leggings I was wearing to "Back to School" night were too bold, he replied, "When have you ever worried about being too bold?"  YES!  Yes, son!  Encourage women to be bold.  Don't be threatened by them but love and support them.

I know there is a day for anything it seems, but I like this one!  There is no need to be intimidated by an empowered, strong woman.  We can incubate life, nurture it, care for it, and help it thrive.  We can also fight, change, inspire, lead, teach and generally rock.  We can do that marvelously together.   Go out confidently and use your talents to shine on, ladies!