Life is fantastic, but I'm sad.  We just came home two days ago from an awesome time with family and friends in Cape May, NJ.  In fact, our best friends spent the whole week with us there- moving in and out with ease through the days littered with our family and friends.   All but one day was spent with additions to our clan!  The house was beautiful and very accommodating- the kind that sets you in vacation mode right off the bat.  We arrived Saturday evening, and not even 10 minutes later, my newly discovered aunt, Dawn, met us at the house!  She had driven from Rhode Island, stayed with a friend in a beach town 1.5 hrs north of where WE were, to meet me for a few hours for the first time.  Now, how else can you start a vacation?!?  The sacrifice of time, money, and energy to see me meant so much.  I like her already.  :)  I value people's putting aside themselves for others, and I know it wasn't an easy trip to make.  But, she did it, and I had a great time meeting her and her friend.  

     Sunday was our first day at the beach, and it was awesome!  We spent each day after that at the beach, and it was different every time.  The waves were crazy one day, crashing right at the shore and breaking on you with force, and then some days they were calmer and more "boring" to the boys.  ;)  The boys seemed to like the waves that made you aware that you were NOT in control of them, their power, or their energy more than they liked the "baby" waves.  LOL.  Oh, testosterone, how you show yourself!  However, the last day's waves were "baby" waves, but we spent all of our time in them, near the shore, rolling and allowing our bodies to be pulled and pushed by them- all the while filling our suits with sand.  I loved it!  In fact, we played so much that way that I felt their pushing and pulling for hours afterwards out of the water.

     Our family and friends stayed with us to have fun and enjoy our company.  We can always count on the Polks to jump right in, and though we were missing two of them, we had SO much fun!  That day, the waves were surging so high that they spilled over the hill until it filled the "beach chair/towel/umbrella" area up to about 15" from the fence near the dunes!  So, then, the kids played in the "pool" of water instead of the fierce waves.  My sister-in-law, Tracy, and her kids stayed with us several nights and days, and it just filled my heart to have them there.  I was looking forward to spending more time with Tracy, so I was satisfied.  ;)  We could not wait to see Russ' cousin and family, and it, too, was just amazing.  They came over late one night, with three YOUNG kids post beach and tired, driving 40" to our house, just to spend a couple of hours with us?!  First of all, their kids are awesome.  Second, we love the parents.  :)  Third, we were blessed, too, with Russ' aunt and uncle!  They jumped right in playing our new game of "celebrity" taught to us by the Polks.  They are engaged people, taking in the joys of being together.  I love them.  We actually got to see them again as they spent time with us at the boardwalk north of us in Ocean City, NJ.  Good times!  My in-laws came down for a day, and we had a wonderful dinner celebrating their anniversary that week.  Lots of love from everyone during the week!  We are very thankful!

 The ladies at Ocean City Boardwalk

 The Men!

Back at the house after dinner!

     If you want to see our slideshow/videos of the trip from Philly to Cape May, you can see them here.  Russ did an outstanding job putting it together- as always.  I love having our memories put into a video to watch whenever I want.

     SO, back to being sad.  We arrived home Sunday night several hours after Russ, as he had a direct flight.  He picked us up, and we drove straight to the movie theater as one last hurrah of vacation.  We saw the new Planet of the Apes movie, and it kept Starks interested the whole time... even given the fact that it was over at 1am Eastern Standard Time, which was what his body was on.  Awesome!  Well, we came home and melted comfortably into our own beds.  Yea!  I woke up with Russ at 7 to go with him and have our morning coffee date, came home, started breakfast, and he walked up the stairs!  He'd decided to work from home as the train was late, he had no meetings scheduled, and he could do all of his work here.  :D  A check up for Anthony that morning led to scheduling same day surgery for this week.  No biggie, but the Dr. wanted to do it before school started.  Ok... school starts in 2.5 weeks.  Next, Costco with Anthony!  We brought home groceries and "Cost-dogs" for all the men.  (yuck)  I came home, continued my chores, talked on the phone to my Momma, and then it was time to take Starks to gymnastics.  Chas went with me as I was running more errands afterwards; he's awesome that way.  He loves to spend time with me doing boring stuff.  As we were about to drive from our parking space on to the next place, I got a call.  I parked again and listened.  It was one of those automated calls from school, and it was telling me about important dates.  Parent Freshman Orientation this Thursday, check.  Freshman Orientation Monday the 18th, che... what?!?!?  First day of school Tuesday the 19th?!?!  WHAT?  I sat in the truck speechless and stunned.  Their website had listed different dates, but apparently, they hadn't rolled out their NEW website with the NEW url with the current dates.  I'd seen old ones.  So, within a matter of a minute, I'd lost 1.5 weeks with Anthony.... and I'd been forced to think about his starting HIGH SCHOOL sooner than I'd planned.  Funny, huh?  How "I'd planned."  I keep a great schedule of things I need to remember because otherwise, I'll forget.  I hold it loosely for the most part, expecting some changes here and there, but I still plan weeks ahead sometimes in my head- imagining what those weeks could look like and what to expect.  However, I have no control over that... over the reality of what those days and hours will actually look like.  Then, there's the time component.  Time is not given in this equation of life.  We can expect a day to hold 24 hrs, but that day's 24 hours may go faster than another's to us.  I am not guaranteed any time.  None of us is.  We plan for hours and days and weeks of time that we may never see.  I could die today!  I'm hoping not to, but one never knows.  That's why we have to "seize the day" and enjoy what present time we're in... not waiting and wanting for more.  However, that time I thought I had with Anthony disappeared, and it broke my heart.  I cried on my drive to pick up Starks.  I cried in my bed a couple of hours later.  Just sad.  Just thinking 6.5 weeks of summer vacation isn't really a summer vacation.  I'd wanted to fill it with more fun and time together.  I felt robbed.  I still do as I cry and type this out.  I love my kids, and I'm not ready for this school year to begin yet.  It's going to be crazy with three different drop off times and three different pick up times.  I've not yet figured out who to get first from schools 2.5 miles apart that get out within 2 minutes of each other.  Or how/when to get Starks to gymnastics on time.  Or that his getting out later this year means my time with him BEFORE gymnastics doesn't exist.  We used to sit in the truck for 10-15 minutes together and talk before he went inside the gym.  This year, I'll be driving by and booting him out, rushing on to get his older brothers.  :(  I'm sad.  I'm crying, already mourning another year of them growing up.  However, I'm also very happy that they are.  I hate "they grow up so fast."  Yes, they do, Mr/Mrs. Insightful.  I think every parent knows that.  I try to take in each day with them and enjoy them happy, indignant, stubborn, loving, active and all mine.  I try to be present with them when we're together.  It still sucks knowing school starts soon- and sooner than I'd expected for one.  

     I'll just keep praying.  God, please continue to speak to the hearts of my boys that they know your voice.  Keep your hand of protection on them and guide them as they walk through life and find their way in the world.  Help me to celebrate their growing up and becoming independent.  Give me peace with letting go of imagined moments and open my eyes to take in present ones.  Lord, let them be true to and love themselves the way that you created them- each with their own perspectives, strengths and gifts. 

     With that, I'll leave with my eyes wet and cheeks streaked.  I've got some things to do before my Momma flies in today to visit.  If you pray, please pray for me and the boys.